Everyone must go BOOM!

This is honestly how I feel right now... and I don't mean very patriotic. I mean everyone must explode. GO Boom! SO emotionally and physically drained. My nights are my new days, my days are my new nights and I'm not even sleeping during them. Everything I say doesn't make sense to anyone. Including myself. (Insert disastrous explosion here!) Less than a week for Christmas shopping. I say screw it.

I'm not going to do it.

I'm not going to bring the aggression from school to the consumer world. There's no need. I didn't make a Christmas List. Santa doesn't answer my letters. He's ignored me for the past years (I lost count). Maybe I have been a bad kid, or maybe Santa ignores adults. Perhaps he doesn't give extra presents to for people who have the idea to get themselves what they want, but I can't get what I want. This has been the case for a while now. Slowly losing faith in everything, even me.

I finished one paper yesterday, I didn't feel accomplished like one usually would, I felt angry. So agitated. I wonder if Santa gives abstract gifts in place of nice, shiny physical ones... Ahemsanityahem! Or does he gives presents to people who don't know what they need. That's an interesting question. Does Santa give kids what they want or give them what they need?

Please Santa, hear me! Give me something.